Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The Thanksgiving Set-up: Could it happen in Southbridge?


The Thanksgiving Set-up
or
The Turkey Plot

"...it has been reported that this very night in Southbridge the turkeys have plotted to have humans beheaded.  It looks dire, but the humans are on to the turkeys.  For you see, a brave chicken has squealed."

Once upon a time, not so long ago, a group of turkeys held a meeting.  They were tired of being called the most stupid of birds, only fit for food for humans.  One of the most cunning among them addressed the small gathering flock.

“C’mon, turkeys, gather ‘round.  It’s time we got rid of this poor image we have.  People think we’re dumb, do they?  Well, turkeys, this Thanksgiving we’ll show them.  We ain’t so stupid.  If you’re with me, my fellow birds, I have a plan.”

Thus began the great turkey plot. 


The great idea proposed by the lead turkey was to disrupt the human world.  They would create chaos, setting humans against one another through cunning subtle acts.  The turkeys certainly wouldn't call attention to themselves; no, they were too cunning for that. They would do their gobbling in whispers, spreading all kinds of rumors about the humans.  Little by little, they knew, they could get other bird species to join them.  The chickens, for example would be easy.  They could be scared into joining them.  And gulls!  Yes, gulls would be perfect because everyone knows they are gullible and will swallow anything.  The cunning turkeys could get even more because they knew a lot about bird brains.

Their plot almost worked.  The human world was in turmoil, and humans accused other humans of all sorts of things.  The turkeys laughed their turkey laughs.  They had succeeded in outsmarting the humans. 

“Who’s dumb now?” gobbled the leader.  And the other turkeys gobbled their agreement.

Alas, though, the turkeys made a couple of mistakes.  They planned their plot for Thanksgiving, and as everyone knows, that’s when humans pay the closest attention to turkeys.  The humans began to get suspicious.

The other mistake was in thinking that all chickens are, well, chicken.  This one brave chicken decided that she did not like what the turkeys were doing.  She decided that humans had been pretty good to her.  They treated her far better than the turkeys did.  She couldn't tip off the humans directly.  They wouldn't understand her.  But she had a plan of her own.  It so happened that she knew a parrot that lived on the other side of the road.  Since she spoke parrot and the parrot spoke human, she would go to the parrot’s house, tell her secret to the parrot, and the parrot would tell the humans.

And so it was that the turkey plot was revealed.  The turkeys were defeated and retained their image as the dumbest of birds.

It is said that each year the turkeys keep trying the same scheme.  In fact, some have noticed signs of a turkey plot right here in Southbridge at Thanksgiving 2012.  Turkeys, as we know, never learn.

Be on the lookout, Southbridge, for signs of a turkey plot right here in our own town at this Thanksgiving time, 2012.

In fact, it has been reported that this very night in Southbridge the turkeys have plotted to have humans beheaded.  It looks dire, but the humans are on to the turkeys.  For you see, a brave chicken has squealed.

So if you see a chicken crossing the road, you will know the answer to that age-old question:  Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the turkeys are revolting.

© 2012 
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Note: There is more than one way to tell the turkeys to "stuff it."  Here is one.